Woohoo! Your long-awaited school holidays are finally here! :) I remember how I loved the school holidays back when I was a student! Especially those with no holiday homework to complete. Hehe :P So yes, I fully understand! I don't think it's easy being a student these days, with all the pressure to succeed as well as the sometimes-difficult people (classmates and even teachers) you'll have to handle every Monday to Friday. =(
I remember a time in my secondary school years when going to school was a pure mental and emotional torture coz I had a particular group of "friends" who were all boycotting me and were ignoring me and refusing to speak with me. They did that because they thought I was trying to steal the boyfriend of one of them! =.=" I blame it on my
kaypoh nature of wanting to help out the 2 lovebirds. Instead of being appreciated, I was boycotted, ignored for quite a long time after that. :( This happened in my Sec 4 year and I was very affected by it. Though I still went to school daily and at that time, my Walkman (yes...days when we had to put actual CDs into a portable player if we wanted music on the move) was my best friend since I didn't really have that many friends. :(
There were some other girls who were really nice though, but being 15/ 16, I guess we all did the best we could based on what we knew at that young age. It was a terrible time and my resentment towards these girls carried on even after I left secondary school. I knew some of the girls studied at a tertiary institution near my home and I passed by this particular institution everyday while commuting home, so I always prayed that I'll never have to meet them. But of course, the meeting had to happen and each time it did, I just coolly pretended I was asleep and ignored them even if I had to walk past them to alight from the bus.
If I had a chance to relive that experience of my life, would I confidently say I can respond differently? Honestly I don't think I can. At 15/ 16, I only knew that much and all I wanted was for some friends who would tell me I matter each day when I went to school by speaking with me. I don't think that's too much to ask for, is it? We all just want some friends who through their friendship tell us that we are significant and accepted.
Even at this age, this need for significance and acceptance is still important to me. Even at this age, when I feel rejected by someone else, it still hurts me (Yes like how I thought I heard someone whom I knew who was sitting behind me telling the person she was sitting with that she didn't want to sit with me :[).
I guess with age, I've learnt this - It's okay if someone doesn't like me/ accept me/ love me as much as I want him/ her to just as long as I matter to myself and that there's that one other person who likes me/ accepts me/ loves me. Usually when I feel the sense of rejection, God does send people to my life to remind me that I am important and that I matter. That usually cheers me up. :)
So please don't think this Ms Esther is
buey hiao bai with skin so thick she won't ever feel hurt/ rejected coz I'm only human like you. In the process, let's all try to be kinder to one another? ;)
MELMEL
